Alright, I know you all have one of those guys that always seems to find you at school or work that you can’t stand at all, right? Well, I seriously believe that I have found one that tops them all, but I shall not reveal his name, as that would probebly be a huge embarassment to the guy… Actually… no, it wouldn’t be an embarrasment to him, because he constantly embarasses himself on a daily basis and doesn’t even realize it! Let’s just call him Ryan for now though.

This guy though, seriously… He constantly finds it necessary to come up with the most ridiculous things, and instead of keeping them to himself, or working out the idea into further detail, he just lets it spew from his mouth like kitten vomit. Yes, I said it. KITTEN VOMIT.

Like this one day, for example, Ryan comes up to me and my friend Adam durring first period. We usually try to ignore him, but today he says he has this “TOTALLY AMAZING IDEA”. So, hearing this, and seeing  how he’s spasming like a small rodent over this “idea”,we decide to amuse him by listening.

He tells us he plans on inventing the “S-Box”. What is the S-Box you may ask? Why it’s a videogame consel that is going to completely rip off Microsoft and be more succesful than the X-Box because it sounds cooler!

“But wait… Who would think this sounds awesome?” you may ask? Nobody. Nobody that is except for our good friend Ryan. Ryan says that it will be more succesful because the “S’” in it jumps out and grabs a consumer more than an “X” does. Obviously this kid has never flipped through a porno or browsed the internet.

Then we ask him, “Well… What will the S-Box do?” You know what he says? “I don’t know. Play videogames or something.”

Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? “Play videogames or something.”? I may be an atheist, but that statement had to of made God piss himself and Jesus perform a facedesk. This guy plans on inventing something, and he doesn’t even know what the hell it’ll do! So, of course, Adam and I confront him about this.

Well, as you know, retards think that everything that they think is common fact, and that everybody should think like them. So, when asked about this, he tells us that that’s what the inventing process is for. This guy thinks he can skip the entire planning process and go straight to inventing the damn thing. Either that or his vocabulary is that of a small child. Most likely both.

So, tell me readers, you know anybody that can top this guy? Anybody that makes you want to punch yourself in the face like Ryan makes me? I seriously doubt it, unless you hang around mentally deficient people all day… Which sometimes I feel like I do, but that’s an entirely different story.

Oh, and by the way: I’m in high school. There is seriously a Junior in high school that thinks in the way I have explained. How is this fucking possible?

Peace out for now.

ViLe KaiZeR

(P.S. : I may post some more of the insane shit that flies from Ryan’s mouth sometime. Who knows, it may even be tomorrow…)